Forgiveness & Consequences
(Today’s guest post comes to us from the lovely Viviana Sutton. Vivana is an uber-multi-tasker who keeps things moving as the Content and Community Director over at WorkHerWay.com. She’s an amazing and gifted woman, with a great perspective and a lot of value to say. ;-))
Whenever misbehaving kids get sent to the office at my little boy’s school, they have a talk with our (awesome) principal. When they apologize, he always praises them for doing so, and clearly tells them he accepts the apology and forgives them. The young ones get a hug or handshake.
Then, he will gently say the same thing every time, “You know, there’s still going to be a consequence for this.”
They learn the importance of apologizing, they learn to forgive because they’ve been forgiven, and they learn that he loves them even when they behave in a way that is not lovely.
They also learn that sitting out for recess is painful and not something they want to have to do again, and that helps to keep them from doing whatever it was again. It also helps the other kids to know that if they misbehave in school, they might be sent to the office.
I confess that I’m having trouble with the fact that, this past August, Scotland released a mass murderer (the Pan Am 103 bomber), who killed over 200 people, including babies, because he appealed on humanitarian grounds because of his cancer. He went home to a victorious welcome in Libya.
For their own peace and often because of their own beliefs, many of the grieving relatives of the murder victims have had to come to terms with what this man did by choosing to forgive him. That is an awesome display of love for humanity. Particularly since I don’t recall hearing that the man humbled himself and asked for their forgiveness. They gave it anyway, which is biblical and very difficult to do, I’m sure.
However, there still has to be a consequence.
I’ve heard it pointed out by a few people that expecting this terrorist to spend the rest of his life in prison is terribly harsh and “unforgiving.” No, forgiveness does not remove the reality of a consequence. Don’t accuse these people of not having forgiven him just because they expect him to remain in prison. The forgiving was probably really, really hard for them to do and now the world is going to say they didn’t do it?
Another example: If a husband or wife is unfaithful, there is a chance that their spouse will forgive them. However, damage was done, rebuilding needs to happen, and things will be difficult for a time, even when both husband and wife are truly seeking to mend, not to punish. Actions have consequences, and the cheater cannot rightfully expect that everything will go back to exactly as it was, immediately. That doesn’t mean the spouse did not truly forgive.
Maybe the marriage will end up stronger because they endured the consequence of the difficult times. That’s God using something for good, and it wouldn’t have happened if there hadn’t been not one, but TWO things: Forgiveness and consequences.
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