Smiling At the Future

I love the walking on water story.  Seriously.  Love it.  Most people, when they start talking about it, like to focus in on the part about getting out of the boat.  If you want to walk on water, you’ve got to ‘step out in faith’, you’ve got to get out of the boat.  It’s true, Peter exhibited faith — and he took action.  But then something else happened.  He started to sink.  There he is, walking along on the top of the water in the middle of a storm, happy as you please.  And he began to sink.  Right?

Well, okay.  That’s not the whole story.  There’s that other thing.  There’s this part:

“But seeing the wind, he became afraid, and beginning to sink, he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!” – Matt. 14: 30

He got distracted.  He got distracted and he became full of fear as he began to lean to his own understanding.  I imagine it went something like, “I’m walking on water.  And there’s a storm.  And lots of wind.  Wait!  This is crazy!  It doesn’t make any sense.  Things like this don’t happen!  There’s no way this can be true, no way this can be happening.  I’m gonna die!”

Okay.  Maybe he didn’t have time to think all those thoughts.  But you get the idea, right?

Nothing changed.  His circumstances didn’t change.  The boat was still there.  The storm was still raging.  Jesus was still there.  He was walking on water.

But his focus changed.

Peter & JFK Jr.

Remember when John F Kennedy Jr’s plane went down as his was flying to Martha’s Vineyard?  One thing that was mentioned over and over again at that time was that he had ‘lost his horizon’.

Certain cloud formations, poor weather conditions, and darkness can cause a pilot to lose the true horizon, especially over bodies of large water.  They can become severely disoriented.  Up feels down.  Down feels like it’s sideways.  Sideways feels like it’s ‘right-side-up’.  It’s called ‘a false horizon.’

If the pilot continues to rely solely on the way he feels, or even the way things appear to be,  he can easily end up flying upside down thinking it’s right side up and fly straight into trouble.

But there’s an instrument on planes.  It’s sole purpose is to indicate the true horizon.  If a pilot begins to feel that disorientation or even just recognizes that conditions are unfavorable, they can rely on that instrument to give them a true horizon, and therefore actually know with certainty which way is up.

Where’s Your Focus?

The same thing happens to us in life.   We have a dream.  We have a goal.  We commit to living our lives as a Christian.  We get out of the boat.  We step out in faith.  We take action.

And then we look around.  We get distracted.  We lose sight of the important things, of our core values.  We start focusing more on money, or hanging on to a particular relationship, or status, or getting to that perfect weight on the scale.

Or we get distracted by ‘issues’ that tick us off (that’s a big one for me), or looking around at what other people are doing and how they’re doing and how quickly or easily (we think) they got there.  We start to gauge what we expect to happen based on the conditions we see around us.  The wind, where we think the horizon is, where we think we are, what we think is going to happen, the things we think we know.

Time to Ask

All we have to do to get back on track — is ask.  After all, when Peter realized he was sinking, he cried out “Lord!  Save me!”  And verse 31 says,

“And immediately, Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him….”

Get your eyes focused back where they belong.  Look to your instrument panel (God) for the true horizon, no matter how you may feel at the moment.  And ask.  You’ll be walking on water again in no time.

Is it time to get refocused and ask for help?  What do you need to stop focusing on or worrying about?  Are your eyes on a true horizon?

Love,

deb

(photo credit: Deb Owen)

I’ve had a few comments/emails about the post I asked Desiree if I could use here on human trafficking.  The comments go something along the lines of “if we’re supposed to smile at the future, isn’t that sort of depressing”?

Well yes.  It is.  Human trafficking is depressing.  Poverty is depressing.  The fact that nearly one billion people around the world don’t have access to clean water is depressing.

But here’s the thing.

It’s only depressing if we resign ourselves to the belief that there is nothing we can do about it.  Some, when faced with problems such as these become despondent, think ‘there’s nothing we can do’ and give up.  And yes.  That is depressing.

But others become inspired.  Others become motivated.  Others look for opportunities and other people to work together to put even a small dent in the problem.  Those people, rather than give up, become inspired….and determined…and have hope.

Besides, we have a future we can smile at.  And once you find that out for yourself, once you truly smile at your own future…..there’s a next step.

I believe that once we know that we have a future we can smile at, it is our responsibility to show others that they have one as well.  I also know (and come on, you know this too, this isn’t new)….I also know that there is plenty of instructions throughout the Bible, not to mention Christ’s example as we’re to become Christ-like, about helping the poor, the sick, the needy, the widows and orphans, etc etc and so on.

Right?

Find Your Niche

For me, I’ve always been a ‘global issues’ kind of girl.  I have friends who do most of their work on their block and down the street.  That’s okay.  We are each given different types of strengths, talents, and gifts that we’re meant to put to use.  And we’re also each given different ‘desires of the heart’, different things speak to each of us.  That’s because there’s enough to be done out there in the world that no one person can do it , so we need people to work in different areas and on different issues.

And faith?  Faith requires action.  Faith requires works.

What use is it, my brethren, if a man says he has faith, but he has no works?  Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food and one of you says to them “Go in peace be warmed and filled” and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that?”  Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself – James 2 14-17

I believe we have a responsibility to those who can’t help themselves, to those who don’t have a voice. I believe we have a responsibility to future generations.   I believe we have a responsibility to those who don’t smile at the future to help them be able to do that.

Besides, one of the best ways to find a future you can smile at is to get your mind off yourself and to serve others.  So it works all the way around.

I may talk from time to time here about specific issues.   The intention behind that is not just to bring awareness and hopefully, as this grows, begin to be able to do more and more work in those areas.

The intention behind it is to encourage you to find where you can use your talents to help others in whatever way you can.  If the most you can do today truly is to pray — then do that.  Do something.  It will help you — and it will help give them a future they can smile at as well.

Since we’re talking about this today, I saw this brief, one-minute video from Not For Sale on Twitter yesterday.  It just gave me a little hope and a little smile to see people in Cape Town, SA praying for those trapped in slavery today.  And yes, it’s people praying.  But that’s powerful.  It’s powerful indeed.

What can you do?  Where can you help?  How can you share the way to a bright future with others today?

Love,

deb

Over at WorkHerWay.com, Carolyn posed the question ‘what do we need to be doing to raise girls for success?’ that led to a few of us bandying about the other question:  what do we wish we could tell our younger selves?

I’m pretty lucky.  I had parents who placed my value and worth in who I was, and encouraged me to be myself.   Still, if I’m completely honest, I think my parents always believed more in my talents and abilities than I did.  Actually, if I’m completely honest, it’s possible that they still do.  On the talent front alone, dad is convinced I’m a better singer than I actually am — and mom is convinced I’m a better writer than I actually am.  Well, in my mind anyway. 

And that would be my first bit of advice to my younger self:

Give Up Perfection

Give it up.  It’s not going to happen and isn’t possible anyway.  You won’t look perfect, compared to those women in the magazines – you know, the women who don’t actually look like that anyway (thanks to photographing with lighting, angles, etc – adding in airbrushing and the other wonders of Photoshop, trying to live up to an ideal that doesn’t exist to begin with can get exhausting)

You also won’t be Cartier-Bresson the moment you pick up a camera or Hemingway the moment you start to write, but that’s okay.  You aren’t meant to be like them anyway.  You’re meant to develop your own unique combination of strengths, talents, and gifts.  You’re meant to forge your own path, be true to yourself, to your calling and your journey.

And you know?

You’re ‘Better’ Than You Think You Are

I heard an interview with Carrie Fisher once where she talked about how much she hated how she looked when she was in Star Wars because she thought she was fat.   But now, she looks back at photos from that time and thinks she was prettier (and thinner) than she thought at the time.  So she realizes that 20 years from now she’ll look at pictures of herself now and think the same thing.

I’d tell that ‘younger me’ that she’s smarter than she thinks she is, more talented than she thinks she is, more capable than she thinks she is, prettier than she thinks she is.  I’d tell her that she just needs to know that, and run with it.   Again, I’d tell her that she has strengths and gifts that are uniquely hers, combined with a personality and a voice that only she can bring to the world in her own unique way.  I’d tell her ‘there’s only one you and only ever will be one ‘you’, embrace that and fulfill that as much as you possibly can.’

Of course, the thing that got in the way of that more than anything back then came down to one thing — boys.  Well, boys and the roles I thought had to be played.  Between the boys and the bosses who repeatedly told me to be small, to keep silent, to hold back my truth, to be less than I am, I wish my younger self would have known:

Be All of Who You Are & Find People Who Can Take It

Rather than playing small for others, realize that them asking you to do that says more about their feelings of inadequacy and insecurity.  Don’t play small for them, find others who play as big a game as you do.  They’re out there, you know.  You might have to do some work to find people who can let you be as strong, as powerful, as confident, as talented, as smart as you are…..but they’re out there.

Compromise, an argument many of those people will make to convince you to change for them, is necessary in relationships, but being less than you are isn’t compromise — it’s self-destruction.  It’s destroying parts of you just to make someone else comfortable and not only is that not healthy for either party — it won’t last anyway.  You won’t be able to maintain it, living small.  Find the real friends.  Hold out for the real deal.

And mostly, I’d tell my younger self, you won’t get any of that until you find God.

Goodbye Insecurity, Hello True Value & Worth

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you…. Jeremiah 1:5

Find God, and in Him, find yourself.  Make Him the center of your life.  Let Him make you into who He designed you to be, and bring the opportunities and destiny He has planned for you.  (Find out for yourself who God says you are.  Don’t let man tell you who he thinks God says you are.)

Delight yourself also in the Lord,  And He shall give you the desires of your heart.  Psalms 37:4

Find the desires of your heart that He has given you, and the talents and strengths He’s given you to fulfill those desires.  Find the ways you can contribute, be of service to the world, and make a difference.  Make THAT your mission.

And then:

Forgive Yourself Because You’re Going to Mess it Up

I’d tell that younger version of me a few other things too.  Things like…..the thing you think is the end of the world right now really isn’t.  In fact, some of the biggest ‘tragedies’ of your life will eventually look like mere blips on the radar screen of your life.  And you’re going to mess some things up.  You can only know what you know.  You’ll do the best you can given what you know and the circumstances you’re in — and as Maya Angelou says, when you know better, you’ll do better.  So cut yourself some slack.  Stop worrying so much, enjoy it all more.  Contribute.  Serve.  Use your talents and abilities to make a difference.  Let God handle the rest.

What would you tell your younger self?  What advice would you give future generations?

Love,

deb

(Photo credit:  No idea really, but that’s me about age 5; ironically since I wrote about Carrie Fisher, it’s complete with Princess Leia hair!  ;-))

A while back, over at the old blog, I wrote a post called “Well-Behaved Can Make History.”  (The full piece is still up on my ‘expert contributor’s page’ at www.workherway.com  here.)

In it, I largely spoke about women’s roles in culture and in the workplace, and how they’d evolved from the Mad-Men-like stay-at-home moms and steno-pool girls to clawing our way to the top while behaving more and more like men in the process.  We clawed our way into the boardrooms, but when we got there we got so used to having the claws out that we forgot to put them back in.

And so I ended the piece with this:

Bright Future Ahead

….

But I see us continuing to head this direction. To continue forging our own paths – together. And I think that’s the best way to go from here.

We can be well-behaved if we want to.  After all, our deepest power doesn’t come when we’re breaking down doors.  It comes when we speak our truth with dignity and grace, having finally given ourselves permission to own who we are and to own our truth.

I have to admit it.  One thing that kept me out of and away from church for quite some time was that I didn’t see women like me there a whole lot.  I found it difficult to be a strong, confident, smart woman amongst a seeming sea of voices telling me I must be weak.  The message that I heard a great deal was ‘be quiet, needy, codependent….don’t think, don’t speak, just bake, and sew and be as amenable and cute and as sweet as possible….be the weaker vessel.”

The message I got was that I couldn’t be ‘me’, the way God made me, with the gifts and talents that He bestowed me with.  I had to be what other people wanted me to be and fit in.  And that didn’t work for me.

And to be honest?  I hated Proverbs 31.  No.  Seriously.  Hated it.  Mostly because you have no idea how often that passage was thrown in my face as evidence of me not being a ‘good enough woman’.  But then I took another look.  And man!  That woman is busy!  She gets a lot of stuff done!  And she does stuff all on her own, like ‘she considers a field and buys it.’

And it turns out that many of those who told me that being cute and quiet and people-pleasing really did get it wrong.  Verse 30 tells us “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain”

As I looked again, I saw things in Proverbs 31 like:

She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong….

Strength and dignity are her clothing and she smiles at the future

She opens her mouth with wisdom……

I have many female friends who struggle with these things within the church as well.  And many of us left, or are leaving.  And yet, they also all struggle with what that means — the loss of a sisterhood, and the effect that has on their faith.  It’s tough.

Fight The Good Fight

At the same time, I had to admit that I become disappointed when I see good people give up the good fight.  A political example:  Evan Bayh.  I’ve liked Evan Bayh for years and anticipated (and hoped for) a future Presidential bid from him.  Then suddenly, he announced he would not run for another term and would  longer be serving in the Senate.  Why?  Because, he said, Congress is becoming increasingly dysfunctional, partisan, and not doing ‘the work of the people’.

My reaction?  Disappointment.  Disappointment rooted mostly in wondering what will be left if the good guys ‘give up and go home’.  Disappointment that he wouldn’t stay and ‘fight the good fight’ and stand up for ‘doing the work of the people.’

Be The Change You Want to See In the World

That is honestly one of my favorite quotes — ever.

And as I began to think through these things, it occurred to me:

What about the next generation?  The girls who are coming behind us on those paths we’ve forged now?  What about the other women who are also searching?  Why not stay?  Why not stay and be the example?  Why not stay and begin to talk about these things, with dignity and with grace?  Why not find and form a strong sisterhood that serves to stay and ‘be the change.’

What do you think?  Is it possible to ‘stay’ and to be the change?  In what ways can we do this?  How would that work in your world?

Love,

deb

I am not a preacher.  Nor do I pretend to be.  I have no special dispensation.  I don’t intend for this space to become a series of sermons.

But I do have a story.  And it’s Easter.  And given that great commission, it seems appropriate that maybe we take time here — from time to time — to get real, to tell the story, and put out the call.

I have no special wisdom.

But I do have a story.

To tell that entire story would take much more time than we have.  But let me say this.  I get it.  I really do.  For those who are ‘churched’, I have the pedigree.  I come from a family of preachers, went to Sunday school, went to a Christian college.  I memorized the Bible verses and got my gold stars.

For those disgusted with the church or ‘formerly churched’, you and I have much to talk about, my friend.  Did I mention the family of preachers?  Yeah.  I grew up seeing what some of those people sitting down the pew from you were really like.  I got angry with the people in the church.  And I got mad at God for what I saw as Him letting my family, who serve Him well, be grossly mistreated.  (Okay.  I’m a daddy’s girl so that was mostly about my dad.  But still….)

For those ‘unchurched’?  I’ve been out there.  I walked away from church and joined your ranks.  I’ve been where you’ve been.  I’ve been to the parties.  I accomplished my goals and did good things in my career.  I’ve had the relationships.

I’ve sought enduring love, fulfillment, joy, peace everywhere I could.  And I never found it, not for too terribly long anyway.  And even when I looked to my faith, I couldn’t find it.  I couldn’t find it because I didn’t understand it.  I didn’t get it because I’d subscribed to that belief in ‘religion’ and always found myself falling short.  I’m a sinner.  For those who like to ascribe certain weight to various sins?  I’ve been a ‘big one’.

So while I believed in God and I believed His word and I believed that Jesus came to earth and was crucified and rose again, I couldn’t take it in because I knew I didn’t deserve it.

I knew I didn’t deserve it.

The Good News

And then it clicked.  Then I got it.  That’s the beauty of it.  I don’t deserve it.  None of us do.  We all fall short.  I don’t deserve it and He died and rose again for me anyway.

THAT — is how much He loves me.  Me.  Specifically.

And that changed everything.  It changed how I felt, what I thought, my view of the world.  It changed what I wanted to do with my life.  It changed how I saw myself, my worth, my value.  It changed my relationships.  It changed it all.

Getting that set me free.  That is what finally brought fulfillment and peace, even in the midst of circumstances that hadn’t really changed all that much.

We are set free:

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.

Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; – Romans 8: 1-6 (emphasis mine)

And we are set free because He loves us:

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him – John 3: 16-17 (emphasis mine)

The One Thing

And so if there’s one thing I want you to know today.  It’s that He rose again.  He died and He rose again…..for YOU.  God so loved the world, but that means that he ‘so loved’ YOU.  Specifically.

He created you as you are.  He created you as He meant for you to be.  And all of this — the whole plan, the redemption, the grace, the peace, the lasting fulfillment, a love that surpasses all other loves and is almost overwhelming in it’s vastness and perfection — is all for YOU.  It’s about you — and God.  And He loves you that much.

I’ve heard ‘religious’ people all my life say, “God loves you” in a way that sounded vapid and ridiculous and ‘back-woods’ to me.  But think about it.  Drink it in.  Breath it in.  God.  Loves.  YOU.  So much that Jesus stretched His arms out on a cross to say “I love you this much” and died – and rose again.  For you.

So this Easter, is it time?  Is it time to be baptized?  To be saved?  Is it time to just….re-commit?  To reconnect?  Is it time for a new life?

Love,

deb

Oh!  And…..Music!  You knew there had to be music, right? 

How Great Is Our God:

There are times when I wonder.  I wonder what it must have been like on this day.  You know, that day ‘in between’.  Can you imagine?   Not just watching the crucifixion, but the loss of hope.  Everything they’d been working for and had faith in, they’d just seen come to an end.  (So they thought.)

We know they rested on the Sabbath.  We know the women went to the tomb with perfumes and spices they’d prepared.  And Luke tells us about two guys walking the seven miles from Jerusalem to Emmaus.  They were walking and talking and Jesus began walking and talking with them, but they didn’t know who He was.  And He asked what they were talking about.

I imagine they shot him an incredulous look as they essentially asked if he’d been living under a rock.  Being in Jerusalem and not having heard the story would be about the equivalent of not knowing Tiger Woods cheated today.

And then they said:

“But we were hoping that it was He who was going to redeem Israel.” – Luke 24:21

I mean, it wouldn’t take a rocket scientist, right?  He was dead.  They watched Him die.  However they thought He was going to redeem Israel, He would have to be alive for that to happen, right?  They had the same reaction anyone would have at that point.  It’s over.  It’s done.  We were wrong.  We had hoped, but it didn’t happen.

The Plateau, The Wall & The Dip

We do that at times.  We’re working hard.  We’re pretty sure the brook hasn’t dried up and we’re still working towards that goal, that dream.  But we get tired.  Or we don’t see results as fast as we want.

You’ve done it, right?  I’ve done it.  I get all psyched up to lose weight.  I start eating right and working out.  I see the number on the scale drop and buy the smaller size jeans.  And then it stops.  It just…..stops.  And sometimes, if we’re not careful, we decide it’s not working so we’ll grab that ice cream and skip the workout.   We call it a plateau.

Runners call it hitting the wall.  A point of physical and mental exhaustion that you feel like you actually might die from if you try to keep going.

Seth Godin wrote a whole book about it called ‘the Dip.’  It’s the moment that the new hope, the fuzzy giddiness of starting the journey wears off and the less glamorous, less-hip, less-fun parts start.  For doctors, he says this is the point where you hit the organic chemistry class.  (Most people drop out about then.)

Wait For the Miracle

The key is to know whether the brook has dried up.  (In which case, arise! Go! Get thee to a new body of water quickly!)  Or if you’re simply in the ‘in between’.   Because the good stuff?  The really good stuff?  It’s on the other side of the plateau, the wall, and the dip.

You know, runners can make it through the wall.   They seek out answers, learn new information about glycogen and new training strategies and new mental strategies.  Then they go out and apply that.   Anyone who has lost weight successfully knows they can get through the plateau (and knows how).  Anyone who is a doctor got through organic chemistry.

And those guys on the road to Emmaus?  They had to assimilate new information.  They had to see things in a different way, from a different perspective.  They now could see that just because they’d watched Him die, it didn’t mean it was over.  But for a moment, for a day, they thought it was over.  They gave up and started walking.  They started talking in the past tense.  (“We had hoped….”)

But it wasn’t over.  The miracle just hadn’t happened.  Yet.

Don’t give up before the miracle happens.  Because Maybe.  Just maybe ….your miracle happens tomorrow.

Love,

deb

I have been engaged in a great deal of reflection the past couple of days, as many around the world are. As I reread the different accounts of the crucifixion today, something struck me.  Here’s the way Mark tells it:

“And those passing by were hurling abuse at Him, wagging their heads and saying, “Ha!  You who were going to destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save Yourself, and come down from the cross!”  In the same way, the chief priests along with the scribes were also mocking Him among themselves and saying, “He saved others, He cannot save Himself.  Let this Christ, the King of Israel, now come down that we may see and believe.”

That was it.  That was all they asked for.  ”Get yourself down off that cross, and we will believe”

God had something bigger in mind.  God had something bigger planned.

How often do we do that in our own lives?  I know I do.  I’ll have some problem, some thing that I turn into a crisis in my head.  (Oh yeah.  Try living in my head.  It’s fun sometimes!  ;-))

And I’ll pray.  I’ll ask.  I’ll ask for something small.

Or I’ll look to the future and hope — for something small.  For just enough.  For just enough to get by, for just enough to subsist, for just enough to maintain.  I’ll hope for just enough joy to not be unhappy.  I’ll hope for just enough love to not feel alone.  I’ll hope for just enough…..whatever.

But I wonder.

Maybe God has something bigger in mind.  Maybe God has something bigger in mind for you than you’ve been expecting too.

How about you?  Are you just looking for what you think you deserve or could comprehend as being ‘big’?  Are you just looking for a ‘coming off the cross’ moment?  Or are you ready for the real deal?  The whole deal?  Are you ready for the bigger things that God has planned?

Love,

deb

I am a strong-willed person.  I imagine, although my mom would have to confirm this, that I was even willful as a child.  And just this week, I’ve mentioned being a person who can make things happen.

In many ways, this serves me well.  It gives me confidence.  I know that when I put my mind to it, I can be resourceful and strong and accomplish my goals.  (The flip side of that is that then when I don’t do something, I have to be completely honest and admit that it must not really be all that important to me.  And the truth is that that is true of all of us.  When it comes down to it, we do the things that we really want to do.  We aren’t always aware of what those things are, but when we stop and take time to examine.  Even when we do things we don’t really want to do, like pass on the ice cream, it’s because we really just want something else more.  Like fitting into the skinny jeans.)

So this is a good thing.  I can get things done, set and accomplish goals.  There are a lot of ways this is a positive attribute to have.

But not always.  When does it become a problem?  When I’m not checking in to be sure I’m in God’s will.  Often, wanting to walk in God’s will leads us to think there is something wrong with desire.  We begin to think we aren’t supposed to want things.  We aren’t supposed to ask for things.  We’re supposed to stay generic and safe.

But we’re supposed to take it all to God.  (He knows anyway.  He knows our hearts and our minds all that’s contained therein.)

Following the last supper, Jesus went and prayed.  Knowing God’s plan, knowing what He was about to face, what He was about to endure, He prayed:

Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me;  yet not my will, but Yours be done.  – Luke  22:42

He knew the plan.  He knew His purpose for coming to this earth.  He could have said ‘no’ and not gone through with it.  And He asked anyway.  He asked, and turned it over.  He was still willing to do “not my will, but Yours.”

We can ask.  The answer might be no.  We will still face trials in this life.  (After all, this is life.)  But we can ask.  More important is the spirit in which we ask, the condition of our hearts, and our willingness to do His will regardless — having faith that He uses all things for our good and will give us no more than we can handle, and the things that we need when we need them.  (After all, an angel came down to strengthen Jesus.  He gave His son what He needed to face what was ahead.  And He does the same for us.)

What are you facing in your life that you’d rather not?  (Whatever you’re facing pales in comparison, doesn’t it?  It does for me.)  What are you facing that you’d rather avoid?  What do you not want to do that you know you need to?  Ask.  Pray.  Ask.  And then ask for His will to be done, and known, and the willingness and ability to follow that.

Life was always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act. – Paulo Coelho

If you’re anything like me, you’re a person who can make things happen.  No really.  I can Make. Things. Happen.  For those familiar with DiSC behavioral profiles, I am an off-the-charts “D”.  My natural instinct, the way my brain works, is to jump into action, especially when it seems that there is a problem.  I want it fixed.  And I want to fix it now.  In order to do that, the way my brain works, that means that something must be done.  Now!

And sometimes, that jumping into action makes things worse, if I’m honest.  If I’m honest, I’ll admit that if I’d stopped to check in — to pray, to ask God, checked in with my heart — the answer would come.  And that answer would be this:

Wait.

I know.  I know the answer will come.  I know that this will be followed by a time of a great deal of activity.  I know that this is a part of the journey.  But for the time being, it’s time to wait.  It’s time to wait for an idea to be fully formed.  It’s time to wait on answers from people who are busy with other things.  It’s time to take time.  It’s time to wait.

And Tom Petty was right.  The waiting is the hardest part.  It is for me anyway.

Still, waiting isn’t necessarily passive.  Look at Psalms.  David was a busy guy.  In Psalms 27, he wrote:

Wait for the Lord.  Be strong and let your heart take courage;  Yes, wait for the Lord

At the same time, he tells us that he meditated.  He tells us he sang praises.  He made offerings.  He cried out to God.  And while he was doing all that, he had a kingdom to run, you know.

So yes.  There are times when it’s easy to listen to those who would scream out at you, “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!”  “Get busy!”  “Take action!”  And for those who have known me any amount of time at all, you know I’m a big fan of action.  So let’s be clear.  When you’re waiting, that doesn’t mean it’s time to be doing nothing.  The time of waiting isn’t a time of passive waiting.

It’s the time to be cleaning out and organizing that closet.  It’s the time to get to the gym (or outside!) and workout.  It’s the time to edit the photos you took last week, catch up with your girlfriends, rewrite your resume, walk the dog, take out the trash.  Go to a museum.  Learn a new language.   Get a massage.  Take a hot bath.  Look at the full moon.  Meditate.  Pray.  Sing.  If there is one area of your life where the answer is ‘to wait’, there is still plenty to be done.

So wait.  Trust.  And wait.  But do your part and wait actively.

In what areas of your life do you know it’s time to wait?  What else can you do while you actively wait?

Love,

deb

(photo credit:  Batega )

A little more about this space, where I’ve been, and where this is all going.  (Since you all asked.  Well….some of you have asked.  We’ll get to the ‘where it’s going’ bit in a bit too. )

Yes.  I had a nice-sized following on Twitter and Facebook, and a blog I’d spent three years building up that had led to other writing gigs.  And the business, of course.  I did all the things you’re supposed to do to build traffic, to build the numbers.  And then some things happened.  Life happened.

OK.  Let’s be real here.  ‘The guy’ happened.  To delve deeper would take a novel.  But there’s something key to know about that guy.  That guy knew me.  No.  Really.  He knew me.  He came back into my life at just the right moment, and was the only person who could have seen — and gotten past — my defenses, and the walls I’d put up around my heart.  He reminded me of who I was.  I could totally and completely be myself with him and felt fulfilled.

Then he broke my heart.  But that part, for the intents and purposes of this post, is not the important part.  He got through.  Which led me, over time, to feel more and more like I was holding up the old blog, parts of the business, parts of my personality, parts of me — that were no longer true.

Don’t Give Up

(If you read those three words and hear Kate Bush singing, you’re my new BFF.  Email me immediately.  ;-))

But I didn’t want to give it up.  Just like anyone who has invested time, sweat, energy, emotion, love, passion, and all that we invest in anything (relationships, jobs, kids, friendships, our beliefs)……I didn’t want to give it up.  I justified it all because of what I had accomplished and done.  I fought letting those parts that had dried up go because of all the work, all of me, that I’d put into it.

Whew!  That’s Hard!

But it didn’t work.  It was a struggle to keep it going.  It was a struggle to keep it up. It was a fight.  And I had to be someone that was increasingly not really ‘me’.

And that’s what we do, isn’t it?

Whether it’s a job, or relationship, a dream, a lifestyle, or a project, whatever it is….whether it is something we decided was right for us and we pursued or even when it’s something that God put in our lives for a time or a specific reason that is no longer a part of His plan for us…..we hold on.

Wade in the Water

Elijah predicted a drought in I Kings 17 and was told to go to a brook where the ravens brought bread and meat in the morning and in the evening.  And in verse 7, it happens.

“And it happened after a while, that the brook dried up, because there was no rain in the land.  Then the word of the Lord came to him, saying, ‘Arise go…..’”

The brook dries up.  And still, we sit there.  We sit there and wait for the water to start flowing again.  We work harder.  We try harder.  We bang our fists against the rock.  We dig in the dirt.  We try to make the water flow again.

We become someone else for someone else to make a relationship work because we’re already invested.  We try the same strategy (or a new one) to make the same dream come to life because we’ve been at it so long and are so determined, that we just can’t give it up.  We don’t want to let other people down.  We worry about what other people will think.  So we try harder to make it work.  We justify it.  We defend it.  We push on and don’t even notice the tension, the stress, the strain, the unhappiness.

And that?  That all becomes our new normal.  The tension, the stress, the strain.  We start to think that’s us…..being happy.  And free.  And normal.

And that’s what happened, folks.  The brook dried up.  And I fought it.  I fought it hard.  But the brook dried up and it was time to “Arise!  Go!”

When it’s time, it’s time.  Sometimes, the brook dries up and it’s time to move on to a new place where everything flows freely and abundantly again.  Sure.  That might mean there is time where you walk in the wilderness for a bit. But me?  I’m heading for the ocean.  What about you?

Has your brook dried up?  In any area of your life?  Is it time to arise and walk?  To take some action?  Or to let something go?  Are you digging in the dirt?  Or wading in the water?

Love

deb

(Photo credit:  Deb Owen)